The Jivamala
The life of a Vajrayana Buddhist Nun

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Section XXVIII - The Heaven of Vajra Dakini

Vajra Dakini said,

You have lived a good life, and done many kind acts. These will help you in your future. But you had past lives when you were foolish, ignorant, and angry, and the deeds of those lives follow you. You will have to atone for them.

I said, " Lady Dakini, will I be reborn in an animal world as punishment, or in the realm of the hungry ghosts?"

She said,

You are a strange mixture of extremes, but I like you. I'll tell you what I shall do. I will make you my servant in my paradise, and separate this life from your others. Thus you will escape the pains of retribution. This is very rarely done, but I like it because of that. You will still be linked to your other lives, but the light within you will be merged with my light, and our deepest aspects will be one. It will be as if you are an emanation of mine. Then, you will have no need of rebirth. However, you will still be able to communicate with your other lives, should this be necessary.

I said, "Lady, what shall I do with the teachings that you have given me?" She said,

These will stay in your convent, unless the abbess wishes to send them elsewhere. You may leave it as her decision. If the teachings are lost in the future for any reason, I will pass them on to one of your future lives who can hold the same role as scribe that you have held [in this life]. The physical world is a place of passion, and destruction, and it is difficult for spiritual teachings to survive. But we who can watch the world at a distance can sometimes step in and help, and offer guidance and knowledge. Not everybody is interested, but if a special few have access, they can use them wisely and well.

If the teachings are lost, I will give them to you again. When your future life is ready to learn them, he or she will return and encounter you. You will have the unusual experience of speaking to yourself in another personality and body. Of course deities and spiritual beings often do this, but it is rare for humans. You will tell your story, and describe some teachings. It will be up to your future life to get the collection once again.

I said, "Lady Dakini, what does it mean to be your servant forever? It sounds like a dream."

She said, "You will leave the dreary round of births and deaths, and stay in a place of light and beauty. We will travel through the worlds, and play games of creation and destruction."

I said, "Lady, I will follow".

Section XXIX - Chen Ma's Afterlife

You are interested in my life now. Really, the worlds I inhabit are formless, but my lady the dakini is a lover of form. Nothing makes her happier than the creation of beauty. So I am a light who takes many forms. Some of the forms I have taken are a yogini, a hawk, a mermaid, a golden pony, an Oriental harem slave, a secretary with a bun and glasses, a private eye with a fedora finding out secret information, a fat brothel owner, a large-eyed waif with long curls, a winged snake, and a young girl crowned with flowers.

My life is one of service. My lady Dakini says that I may enter into the Light of Emptiness if I choose, but then I will no longer enjoy our play. If this is the case, then I will avoid the Void. I value divine love and beauty, and she has done me a great favor. She has brought me here to be with her, so that I need not reincarnate.

The Vajra Dakini's paradise is a world of diamond, and pearl, and crystal, at least in her wisdom form. I do not visit her passionate and aggressive forms. We have lakes and palaces, jeweled trees and rivers sparkling with sapphires. The skies are pink and lemon and melon and lime, and the ponds are bright turquoise. There are golden fish, and white swans with ruby beaks. She is a great queen, on a throne of sapphire and emerald, with shining robes and a jeweled crown of flame.

This is the bright paradise, and there are devotees here who take the form of plants and animals. There are no buddhas or herukas there. They exist beyond this level of manifestation. This is a heaven of shining substance, and opal winds.

She also has a dark paradise, and sometimes I help her there. Then, the sky is bronze and the land is dark green, and the sun is a copper disk. She takes the form of a bronze harpy on an ebony throne, and it is a world of destruction and transformation. When I have been there, I have taken the form of a gnome, a hag, a dancing shamaness, a badger, and some sort of cave dweller. Her throne is in a cavern, and her entertainment is the panorama of struggle and death. The rivers are blood, and the trees are dark and bare. It is a place for the strange and fierce beauty of death.

My lady is the ruler of both paradises, but I mostly stay in the bright one, for it fits my personality. I have visited the dark paradises, but I am not comfortable there. Also it is no place for animals.

My lady has given me a special world to run - for the souls of gentle animals who have died, and not yet reincarnated. I get to take care of them, and give them warmth and satisfaction. I love and respect my lady, but of all her realms, this is my favorite.

I wish you all blessings in your lives.

To continue with the life of Chen Ma, click on the link below :

Chen Ma's Life Continued

Introduction | The Bhairava or Spiritual Guide | Lives of Spiritual Weakness | Lives of Spiritual Awakening | Conclusion


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